The End of the World As I Know It...or something

I get up in the morning, eat two Pop Tarts, read the local newspaper and then walk 2 miles. When I'm done walking I usually plop on the couch for awhile and maybe watch a little Price is Right.

I plopped and was hoping for a little Plinko action this morning when a sound that means your submarine is diving and diving fast starts honking from my TV. Then a hollow, authoritative voice bellows "An emergency from the Civil Defense has been declared! For further details, turn to channel 18!"

Usually this means that there are expected flash floods in the desert or thunderstorms are rolling through the neighborhood.

I grab the remote and click to channel 18. There is a text message superimposed over the Asian soap opera that says that an emergency has been declared for the entire state of California from 10:45 until 11:20 A.M. The entire state?! But it doesn't say what the emergency is.

I figured the choices were:

1. The Big One.
2. California was, after all these years of waiting, at last going to fall in to the Pacific.
3. North Korean Missiles.
4. Global Warming (It was pretty hot!).
5. Locusts, plague, terroristas, scrofula, pustuoles for everyone, a Doors reunion, yada yada yada....

We called the cops, the so-called newspaper, the Asian T.V. station. We asked our Ouija Board, our 8 Ball, and we Googled. Not one had a clue.

So we waited quietly for 11:20.

And nothing happened...