Headin' South Right After I Head Northwest

Goin' to Solana manana. Gonna write a passle o' songs. Gonna scope out the open mic scene in San Dago County. Gonna see some Shakespeare in the Balboa Park. Gonna hang in Encinitas near that Amercan diner on PCH near the Left Wing Nut Radical Activist Tree Hugger Store that sells stuff made outa hemp. Ain't no horse races yet at the track. That's next month. Shit! Gonna go ta Old Town and drink me a shot of 40 dollar tequila and buy a cigar to go wit it. Gonna sun my belly at Dog Beach and chill at Swami's. Gonna buy me a used book and some funny postcards and then talk to some old surfer about nothin'. Gonna get a muffin in the morning at the old train depot-turned-coffee joint and read a local paper. Gonna miss my wiff and kids. Gonna see Shamoo.

Pudgy Tagger and His Sidekick Stooopid

There is a church up the street that has concrete steps that the teenage sk8ter dudes like to use for their sk8teboard noodlings. I don't care if they sk8te up there because they don't wax the steps and aren't doing anything destructive and they're all pretty young. No harm, no foul...UNTIL TODAY!!!

I went walking up the street for my daily constitutional and saw these two pubescent sk8ters walking from the church steps towards Blockthorn Ave. heading towards the Woody streets. Just as I turned the corner the little pudgy one is tagging a sign in front of the dental office with a neon yellow marker. So I yelled out in my manly voice "You are soooo busted!" and I pulled out my phone and called the Rio Nada Police. The little pudgy one looked sorta scared and I said "I have the cops on the phone right now!" He jumped on his sk8teboard and sk8ted away looking over his shoulder and sobbing like a wee puppy.

His friend, Stooopid, stayed with me. I asked him where his friend lived and he said "I dunno!"

"You don't know where your friend lives? You punk!" I said (That was the best I could come up with). Stooopid then jumped on his sk8teboard and took off following the pee stains left by his anonymous pudgy friend.

The cops were on the phone the whole time and as the two sk8ted into the sunset I gave the cops a detailed description and which way they were headed. I don't know if the cops caught them, but I'm pretty sure I'll see them again.

It wouldn't have been so bad if they were a couple of local Banksys or something. A little guerilla art would be a welcome thing. But the egomania of tags for tags sake is a perfect example of kids (and adults) not having the ability to recognize something clever or beautiful even if it came up and bit them on their ass.