Bullwinkle Dharma

All this Gumby talk reminds me of the time I wrote to Bullwinkle.

I had this book called "Addresses of the Stars". Most of the addresses that were in the book were actually addresses of the stars agents and therefore would be virtually useless when trying to reach any stars. But I decided to write Bullwinkle anyway because I thought it would be seismo cool to have an autographed photo of the Moose. After all, the Moose carried the show. That tic infested squirrel was just a sounding board for the Moose's best material. Sorta like Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. And I was a loyal fan.

So I wrote a nice letter to Bullwinkle and mailed it to Jay Ward Productions on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood, Calif.

And I waited. And waited. And forgot all about it.

Then one day, about a year and a half later, I received a letter in a big envelope! From Jay Ward! Yipee! My Bullwinkle autographed 8XIO photo! Finally!

I opened the envelope and in it was a Jay Ward catalogue with a nice little note written on the cover from Mrs. Ward explaining that Jay had died a few years back and that they didn't have any photos, but if I wanted, I could order some neat Bullwinkle merchandise from the catalogue.

Shit!

Bullwinkle ties, underwear (boxers, briefs, or bikini briefs), coffee mugs, playing cards, T-shirts, socks, ball caps, floppy hats, bolo ties, sun glasses and on and on. They even had Bullwinkle Soda that was "blue" and bubble gum flavored.

But no autographed photos!

So I ordered a pair of Bullwinkle bikini briefs with a picture of the Moose where ones tender bits are located and waited. And waited. And I forgot about them.